Saturday, November 26, 2011

Conor - Reprise

Eliot just lost against Vargas for the second time. Vargas isn't a very hard boss, Eliot just plays with a little too much style. He has a natural inclination towards flair, an irrepressible urge to give the audience a show. So instead of just hitting "attack" over and over again until Vargas the improbably big and improbably evil martial arts master falls to his assault, Eliot takes his time. Eliot inputs random button commands, hoping that something cool will happen, and the game's like "what are you doing, no," and big ol' Vargas laughs and punches him in the face again. Twice now Eliot's thrown the match in an attempt to pull off a big stunt. As big of a stunt as you can pull in Final Fantasy VI, anyway. The kid needs to play within himself.

That's cool, though, that's fine, I have a Classic Brian to write and nothing better to watch. Actually that's not true at all. Watching cooler better things is the how I've kept myself busy over the break. 7 episodes of the Wire over 2 days and 5 episodes of Breaking Bad today alone. Boom. Thanksgiving Break, 2011, motherfuckers. Y'all know how I do.

Thanksgiving Break is an awkward break. Thanks to OU oppressing us with Monday and Tuesday classes I'm given 4 days to enjoy Springfield, Illinois. As Eliot pointed out, those 4 days can be spent either relaxing and enjoying myself with the few close friends who I naturally gravitate to in my spare time, or I can spend them running across town and seeing every single one of the people who I've missed and need to catch up with. I miss these people and I'd love to see them, but a long, stressful semester has tired me out, there's mashed potatoes in the fridge and freshish rolls on the stove, Winter Break is right around the corner, and Nick's house is right across the street. Looks like I'm playing Mario Party and watching the Wire tonight.

As brief as it is, Thanksgiving Break came at the perfect time this year. I may have bitten off more than I can chew this semester, and a lot of stressors were accumulating at worrying rates. Thanksgiving rolls around like a beautiful, beautiful Band-Aid, solving nothing, but at least giving me a slight respite from all of that. I don't deal with my problems, I drive 10 hours away from them for a week or so. Like I said, y'all know how I doooo.

Here in Springfield, we never have plans for the here and now, we always have plans for the future. Like I know what TV shows I'm going to ruin over Winter Break, and what video games I'm going to marathon, and what gigs Band Practice will hopefully be playing, and such, but tonight? Yeah, I'm cool with Steak n' Shake if you guys are. I don't mind this. I don't have to be doing something special to enjoy myself, it's just nice seeing everyone, but we have significant problems coming up with plans that aren't Steak n' Shake.

Once again, not like that's a bad thing. Anyone in Norman who's witnessing my current Cane's spiral of self-destruction should know that I would never grace that lowly chicken tender vendor (heyooo) with my presence if there was a Steak n' Shake in town. This shit is for real. There's nothing quite like a Western BBQ Bacon burger, hold the cheese because cheese is gross and also icky. Food was a big priority for me this break. I did not fail in my goals to eat all of the foods. Apologies to anyone who wanted any of the foods.

If anyone wanted to practice their intervention skills, I could really use a lot less Monster energy drink in my life. The balls in your court now, everybody else in my life. This is now your responsibility, and more importantly, your fault. Stop allowing me to drink this delicious garbage really really often.

Sunday I drive back to Norman for 2 or 3 weeks of hard work, and then I will return here. I will probably sit in this chair, and play this video game with these people. I'm looking forward to it, it'll be a welcome rest, as apposed to the nap that is Thanksgiving Break. Like naps, it was very pleasant and I needed it, but it lulled me into a false sense of security. There's still work to be done. That's fine though. Y'all know how I do.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Why it's important to read this blog

Here are reasons:

1. It's a good source of reading materials.
2. It's fun for us to think that people are reading this blog.
3. It's a totally competent and unrivaled source of news about our lives.
4. We are: Robert, Nick, Mada, Eliot, Brendan, Conor and Brian. Those are good names.
5. "Classic" is something you associate with good things, much like a great basketball game, original flavored things that are better than flavored versions of that same thing, or an action that a friend does that fits to a comfortable and sometimes humorous degree with their past actions and current ideologies. Also something of pop-culture that is out-of-date but is still good enough to go back to and experience, because it has not lost its enjoyment with the passage of time.
6. "Brian" is a name of fair simplicity and commonality. It might be your name! It represents the common man with boring accuracy, and is something we can all relate to. We can all imagine what life would be like if we were a person named "Brian." We do this with more ease than we would imagine what life would be like if we were named "Bludneious" or something of a similar nature.
7. The person who this blog was named after is endearing, despite his biting sarcasm and witty insults. You may see yourself dating or being friends with this person. He is also in shape.
8. To not read this blog is to cast it out as unoriginal and uninteresting. In doing this, you imply that the seven writers of Classic Brian are unoriginal, in itself an abhorring accusation, and uninteresting, which is not true in the general public's opinion.
9. We have or have had jobs. Really!
10. The writers of Classic Brian have experienced a wide array of experiences, such as: growing up in a moderately sized city in a state that possesses both bigger and smaller cities, playing sports as children, thinking about their own mortality, making up a fun game.
11. A young person's perspective is easier to get behind than an old person's. We all consider ourselves young people. You can get behind us.
12. Writer's block is bound to happen to the writers of Classic Brian. It's interesting to see what we produce on those days.
13. Sometimes, videos and/or pictures are included in posts.
14. Not all people close in age to the writers of Classic Brian write for blogs. Of the ones that do, ours is the one you should be reading.
15, We won't be mad at you if you read the blog.
16. We are constantly trying to think of interesting points to make.

We are not radicals. We are not entirely innocent. We are not entirely corrupt. We are the fading hope that in the zenith of our lives we can figure out something substantial, deconstruct and understand it, and possess in ourselves the knowledge of how to live life without the cost of having lived it. We are the attempt for perfection.

18. Generally speaking, we all have a relative appreciation of the arts.
19. We're all currently enrolled in major universities.
20. Sometimes, we have guest-writers post on the blog, which provides an interesting alternative perspective on a particular issue or subject.
21. Reading this blog is not "counterproductive," it is better described as "hip."
22. Like all things you experience that will die before you do, you will miss us when we're gone.
23. We will miss us when we're gone, too -- that is to say, we have compassion for ourselves.
24. Each post individually is not a narrative, but every post, over the course of a period of time, is a narrative.
25. With the growing popularity of the internet, we are a good way to spend time.
26. You will be dying and think, probably, "I wonder what was in the rest of those Classic Brian posts" and realize: you'll never fucking know.
27. How long does it take to read a blog post? How much does it cost to do so? Compare these results with that of getting pulled over for speeding.
28. What if one of us writes a post about something you're interested in. Wouldn't that be a fun read?
29. We're not perfect, as writers. We could get better. You could help.
30. We'll read all your comments and take them too seriously.
31. If once a day you have someone do a favor for you, you will likely have time to read the day's post as they are doing that favor for you.
32. There's the slight, slight chance that one of us becomes well-known, and in this scenario you could say "I read that guy's (or Mada's) early stuff when he (or Mada) was just starting a blog with his (or Mada's) friends." People will hopefully be impressed.
33. Whenever the weather's bad, and you're inside because whatever you would be doing outside is an inconvenience because of the weather being bad, you will feel better if you spend that time reading a Classic Brian post you would otherwise not have read.
34. We will not be outdated. If a revolution occurs, we will not write from a pre-revolution perspective.
35. If a writer on Classic Brian quits or dies, the best item on your resume for being that lucky replacement writer would be to say "I have read all your guys's posts."
36. Eventually, this could turn into a website that competes with other websites. In such a case, we'd want you on OUR side.
37. If you are doing something on the computer, and partake in a distraction that won't leave you feeling like you've completely wasted your time, we're your man.
38. There are things along the side of the blog, such as the "Who we are:" section and the "A list: of" section that are enjoyable and made up by members of Classic Brian.
39. We could really use your support.
40. Classic Brian is a diary. And diaries should be read. You don't even have to tell us you read it.

Good job, you read all those! Here's a treat: two pictures of bears. They have similarities and differences.

An aside: it's Thanksgiving break and I don't have a working cell phone until Sunday when I get back to college. I'm okay with this. People who won't see me because of this slight inconvenience, consider our friendships Darwinized. I'm excited to see my brothers and parents. I'm hopeful to get rest and be ready for these last two weeks of the semester.

It's unfortunate that it's about to get so darn wintery. It's as if it were slightly chilly outside and yet you, hot from overexerting yourself in an activity, decide to jump into an unheated pool. Hold your breath, because when you hit the water, it's going to be cold and it's going to stay cold for a long while.

I wish I had written more in my last post, "S[t]imulation." There were things I left out. To think, not only will I not finish everything I want to, I won't even finish thinking of everything I want to finish! What a problem we have today.

--Eliot Sill

Monday, November 21, 2011

Nick - Three Reasons I Hate Shopping For Underwear

The first reason is that my waist is not particularly large, any you people are fatasses. The underwear you sell is sized accordingly.

The second reason is that you can't try on underwear. I mean, you could try them on, probably. But then you run the risk of being asked by the employees if you opened a package of underwear, tried them on, and then stuck them back in the package. And nobody wants to find themselves there.

The last reason is that everywhere, every time I look at a package of underwear, this fucker is staring back at me.
Listen, dude, all I want to know is what the underwear looks like. All I'm getting from this picture is what your dick looks like through this underwear. And that's if I train myself to not look at the edgy look on your face and your angsty-ass hairdo.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Robert - Springfield: A Tempting Demon

A Day in the Life of Robert in Columbia, MO:

1. I arise promptly at 8:00 am. I cleanse myself, perhaps shave, and begin my day confidently.
2. I attend my classes. My posture is excellent, my brain activity moving at rapid speeds.
3. I go to work, and I provide society with the invaluable service of taking up that spot on that couch at Defoe-Graham.
4. Perhaps I visit a professor in office hours, perhaps I take care of some paperwork, perhaps I mail a letter, perhaps I attend a meeting.
5. I find a nice tree and do some reading in the waning sun. Perhaps some Thoreau, if I'm feeling up to it.
6. I eat dinner, food in my mouth and books in my eyes.
7. I begin my studies for the night, returning home and finally reading that page of that political science book that I meant to be the beginning of a 20-page reading session.
8. I reestablish verbal or visual communications with my significant other.
9. I remove the greater part of my clothes and rest for the new day to come.

A Day in the Life of Robert in Springfield, IL:

1. Wake the fuck up at 11 or something.
2. Get the fuck up at 11:30. Eat cereal. Provided there's milk.
3. Begin clingy love affair with the internet.
4. Watch something on TV I wouldn't ever be watching. Like sports. Maybe the Bears. Who's one player on the Bears? I don't know. Another reason to watch them.
5. Lose 25 Wii points for my Mii character in Wii Tennis.
6. Begin typing email. Reestablish love affair with internet.
7. Play Wii Mario Kart, as long as it is necessary.
8. Eat a chicken patty.
9. Wii Mario Kart.
10. Wonder why it's dark out already at 6:00 pm.
11. Text friends. 'Sup.

But seriously guys, 'sup. Let me know what's going on or I'm going right back to Mario Kart. I'm serious.