Saturday, May 7, 2011

Conor - My Agenda

Whaaaat why the fuck is Trent cleaning? Why are all your things in boxes now, Trent? Did you do that accidentally did I make you mad is everything okay what's wrong do you want to talk about feelings?

Oh right.

I will be leaving Room #24 of McSpadden a week from tomorrow forever because I am done with my first year of college.


Well that went by quickly!

It's been a good year, to be sure, but my desires lie over the horizon. I've got shit to do and people to seduce and things to get. I've got goals, brother. Hopes and dreams. Some of them need to get done this weekend, some will be accomplished over the summer, and many are years away. Some are realistic and some aren't.

Estimated Time of Completion - Frighteningly Soon
Estimated Probability of Success - Frighteningly Low
Synopsis - Trent's making me look bad, shit. I need boxes. Lots of boxes. All of the boxes, maybe?

Estimated Time of Completion - My jury is on Monday, at 4:53, so I'd say approx Monday, at 4:32
Estimated Probability of Success - No, definitely, this is happening. I'm just going to take a nap first.
Synopsis - 8-10 pieces of music need to get moved over to Finale this weekend. Finale and I shall intertwine this weekend. I will know all of the secrets it holds for me.

Estimated Time of Completion - lol that's the question, isn't it
Estimated Probability of Success - also lol also the question lol
Synopsis - hah hah I'll talk to you guys about that later :3

Estimated Time of Completion - Next Sunday or Monday
Estimated Probability of Success - Good? I wanna say great.
Synopsis - To the motherlaaaand.

Estimated Time of Completion - This will be a lifelong struggle
Estimated Probability of Success - I don't wanna talk about it
Synopsis - There's gotta be a crack in that armor. I would like to defeat him on a meaningful battlefield like Mario Kart, but I'd be willing to settle for Racquetball, or counting quickly.

Estimated Time of Completion - I'll know when I see her, y'know?
Estimated Probability of Success - Do you believe in love?
Synopsis - Has she mentioned me at all? I heard you mention a Steven, who's Steven? Maybe only a handful of times, really, but I really felt like there was a connection there. Okay I'll talk to you later.

Estimated Time of Completion - Well I mean this summer
Estimated Probability of Success - Actually pretty high
Synopsis - We finna do work. We've kept in touch really well this semester and we've been talking about song ideas and everything and I'm really excited. The idea is that we play as much as we can, try to get some shows out of town, and then after we refine some of our new ideas go back to Chicago and record another batch of songs. COULDN'T BE MORE PUMPED, FELLAS AND LADIES. I've been really motivated ever since we did our first EP. Morale is high, now's the time.

Estimated Time of Completion - I will stop giving a damn once I'm out of college probably and then gain all my weight back
Estimated Probability of Success - Modest
Synopsis - Things have gone well for me this year, so I will keep that up. I'm still not very good at Ultimate, but I'm decent. Want to be better. I'll be running a bunch this summer presumably with Wednesday Eliot and Classic and supposedly working out with Monday Nick and No Day Andrew Rogers. SOMEONE CHECK UP ON ME THIS SUMMER AND MAKE SURE I'M DOING ALL OF THAT. Also I'll probably be going to a couple Ultimate tournaments this summer, so that's pretty rad.

Estimated Time of Completion - Summer 2012, theoretically about 24 days after we start
Estimated Probability of Success - Not a laughing matter
Synopsis - 12 Final Fantasy titles. 24 days. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Final Fantasy Friends Forever Finale Festival. It will destroy us, but like a phoenix from the ashes we will rise once more. It's pretty embarrassing how often I find myself anticipating this. Wednesday Eliot wants to try for 21 days but why on earth should we challenge ourselves further. It's not like there's another group of kids across the street who are doing it in 22 days (You hear me, Monday Nick, don't you dare). We don't need to beat anyone. Also this goal/dream/lifestyle is in direct competition with the goal above it. Anyway this is going to be life-changing/life-defining. Get excited.

Estimated Time of Completion - We'll get around to it eventually
Estimated Probability of Success - I said we'll get around to it eventually, man
Synopsis - I love working with you guys? What don't make this weird.

Estimated Time of Completion - Mardi Gras next year heyooo
Estimated Probability of Success - Probably the most likely item on this list
Synopsis - Friends Maggie and Nina live there, and it's reportedly a pretty happening place. Also Jenni Austiff learns there.

Estimated Time of Completion - Post-college, pre-settling for a job I don't want
Estimated Probability of Success - A man can dream
Synopsis - I did comedy and improv in high school, you guys should pay me to do it again. Call me.

Estimated Time of Completion -

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Double Take

by Brendan Cavanagh

Some of my favorite musicians or bands were ones that I knew of or listened to half-heartedly, not fully opening my ears to the music. It's always quite a shock when you discover that your new favorite was resting just under your nose the whole time. The following is a list of songs and/or videos that triggered strong emotional response and incentive to pursue:

"Up On Cripple Creek" - The Band

Like everyone else, I already knew and liked "The Weight," except hardly anyone knows that that's the title. But one afternoon my mom told me to watch this video of The Band performing "Up On Cripple Creek" in concert, and I was smitten. The band members looked so mountainy, due to their innovative blend of country and rock n roll, but mainly because of their impressive facial hair.

"Who Killed Davey Moore?" - Bob Dylan

When I was a sophomore in high school, I used to nap daily. Like, long naps. I think I came home from school and slept for four hours on more than two occasions. Anyway, one night at about 7 or so I ambled downstairs in a fog, splayed myself out on the couch and turned on PBS, which was airing Bob Dylan Live at Newport: 1963-1965. Although I initially hesitated to change the channel because I was too damn lazy, I wound up sticking it out through "Who Killed Davey Moore?" and the rest of the program, enthralled by my first encounter with Bob Dylan. In this video especially, I admired how bare and raw his music came across.  Buuuuuuttttttt the video is not on Youtube, so I will post another one from the same program.  This was the first time I Heard "Like A Rolling Stone," and I remember sitting in Spanish class the next day, nasally singing the refrain over and over in my head, anxious to go home and listen to the song again.  This, incidentally, is the first live performance of "Like A Rolling Stone," and it was a very big deal because Dylan switched over from acoustic-folk to electric-rock.  Great move, in my opinion.

"Here Comes The Sun" - The Beatles

I liked the popular songs of The Beatles for years and years, but never felt any incentive to seek out and acquire more by them. I simply "didn't get" The Beatles. After suffering much verbal abuse from my cousin and forcing myself to listen to Abbey Road, I started to develop an appreciation for The Beatles, especially Abbey Road, but still could not understand what made them so amazing. Then fairly recently, something (no pun intended) about "Here Comes The Sun" knocked me out. I took into account the cultural context surrounding The Beatles fame, the artists they inspired and collaborated with and ultimately, how their music made me feel. It made me feel different. That's all I can say.

"Who'll Stop The Rain?" - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Creedence is the ultimate radio band, so I was always familiar with a handful of their most popular singles, but once I got a hold of my mom's portable turntable and her collection of records, I started playing Chronicle, Vol. One a lot. Well, mostly Side Three at first. But the song I always came back to was "Who'll Stop The Rain?" because I dug the sound as well as the subtle, political undertones. It was relevant in the 60s, and it's relevant today in this lousy mid-west weather.

"Gimme Shelter" - The Rolling Stones

I never really got into the Rolling Stones, save for a few singles, as with any other popular band I felt obligated to listen to, however begrudgingly.  Though I was sitting in my friend's car one night last year, and he played "Gimme Shelter" and told me to listen to it and understand how awesomely gnarly Merry Clayton's vocals are.  We listened to it a lot over Christmas Break, and one day as I zoned in on the guitar, it clicked.  I actually remember something in my head clicking.  The proverbial light bulb going off, if you will.  Later, I wrote on my buddy's Facebook wall to show how much I liked this song (and to show our Facebook friends how cool I am).  I believe my post sums it up:

"Top Four Moments in "Gimme Shelter":
1. Final gnarly, drawn-out note on the guitar before Mick comes in (listen to this part with Bill, he'll make it infinitely better)
2. Merry Clayton's "Ra-ape! Murder!" (her voice cracks twice)
3. Seamless transition into "Love, sister..." 
4. "Gimme, gimme shelter" (who doesn't love meta?)"

"The Lengths" - The Black Keys

Getting restless/lazy now.  Shorter descriptions.  Liked a couple louder songs by the Black Keys, falling asleep one night, heard this song, fell in love.  Depressing, guttural, induces strong nostalgia in my college friends.

"Sloop John B" - The Beach Boys

Knew plenty of Beach Boys songs, all the hits, but got particularly attached to this one.  Harmonies, odd instruments used, Pet Sounds is a fantastic album, especially on vinyl.

"For Lovin' Me" - Peter, Paul & Mary

Cover of Gordon Lightfoot, harmonies are solid, lyrics are somewhat misogynist yet empowering.

"A Quick One, While He's Away" - The Who

Gave me much new found respect for The Who.  Frontman Roger Daltry (vocals) calls it a "mini-opera" and the parent to the Who's subsequent album/movie/first rock opera, Tommy.  Blog post about this song/The Who/the awesomeness of rock operas pending.  But it's a medley of a bunch of little ditties which tells a story about a restless woman who gives in to another man and her ultimate confession to her lover.  So so good. Used in Wes Anderson's Rushmore, which makes it extra legit.  Best version is Live at Leeds, though the Rock n Roll Circus version is fun too.

"Pale Blue Eyes" - The Velvet Underground

Used twice in Adventureland, loved it ever since.  Made me eager to pursue the Velvet Underground, despite knowing nothing about them.  Sad, sweet, sincere vocals.  Listen to the bass kick in at the end of the second verse.  This should be played only at nighttime and if you're depressed.


Hanging with my taste buds

What's that you asked? You want to know my top ten favorite songs?

Sure. Others here at Classic Brian would flip out at the concept of narrowing their gigantic iTunes libraries down to ten distinct favorites, but I realized the other day, I know my favorites. And I thought that was pretty cool. I actually put them in order too, so, without further ado, my top ten fave songs. Then I'll talk about why. It's like a list! I don't do those so much. Here you go.

The following views are my own, and if you disagree, great. It means we're different people.

10. Impossible Soul — Sufjan Stevens
Frankly, most of me is just happy that someone did this. At first when you look at iTunes and realize that one of the tracks is a ridiculous 25 minutes, 35 seconds long, you're initial thought is "I will never ever have time for that." But, knowing the reputation Sufjan Stevens has, I wasn't really worried as I ventured into the colossal track.

It starts out so simply, and quickly gains layer after layer, evolving into a boisterous struggle for melodic prominence amid a rhythmic clusterfuck that hardly ever provides solid ground for the song to roll along on. Meanwhile, Sufjan divulges a tragic tale about a love that simply cannot be. He is really good at using instruments more rhythmically than melodically, and having a thousand rhythms going on at once. From the live video I've seen, it seems the rhythms play out even better in person. In the style of Age of Adz, all kinds of electronica come together to make the song abide by Sufjan's unique sound, and over the course of 25 minutes, the effect is awesome. There are several "movements" within the song, where the vocal rhythms, rhythms and instrumentations change. All of them flow together pretty seamlessly, with the exception of the final movement, but that is a purposeful move.

I am quite fond of classical music, and to see an indie artist ask you to shut the hell up and listen to him for 25-plus minutes is really awesome to see. And to boot, it's pulled off awesomely. My favorite part of the song occurs at 12:12, because I heard that on a pair of Beats headphones and actually lost my breath. Yeah, whatever.

9. Don't Think Twice, It's Alright — Bob Dylan
I'm generally not a huge Bob Dylan fan, but he does a hell of a job capturing the essence of bittersweet in this song. Lyrically, it's basically "Impossible Soul" cut down to three and a half minutes. Something like that. He puts his heart into his guitar here and his soul into his harmonica. Whenever this song catches me in the right mood, it sounds absolutely fucking brilliant. If not, I can still enjoy it. In order to make this list it has to be enjoyable even when I'm not in just the perfect mood.

8. 1901 — Phoenix
When I first heard this song, I diagnosed it as "alright." The chorus of it kind of threw me off, and hit me the wrong way, but eventually those feelings subsided. Then I listened to it more and it grew on me a ton. The beginning is really something badass, and the chorus is actually really fun to sing along to.

Especially when you're seeing them live in the second row at freaking Lollapalooza. Yeah, that boosted the value of this song significantly, and rightfully so. Whenever it comes on now, I can't help but think of those three days and how great they were. I know it's an associative reason for liking it, but it still makes me enjoy the song more. Enough said.

Even with Lolla, however, this song still wasn't top ten material. That status was crystalized Feb. 6, 2011. Some of you may remember that day as (Sometimes) Friday Conor's birthday, but others may remember it as the Super Bowl. I have, as you damn well know, been a Packers fan since I was RILL young. Finally watching a team in my sentient days actually get to and win the Super Bowl was one of the greatest things I had ever watched. Then, after the game was over, Fox threw this thirty second cherry on top of my holy-fuck-this-is-an-awesome-sundae. Some of you may watch that and think it is corny, lame, or even be mad that they cut the entire verse out. (They had thirty seconds!) But after watching those guys shown fight on 20 separate occasions to make me a happy camper (and succeeding in all of them — even the defeats [and yes, this is because they won the Super Bowl]), I was just processing the idea of having won the title, and this really made it sink in. We were all that. Every time I hear 1901, I think back to winning the Super Bowl. That's as much help in winning my heart that any song (or any thing, really) could have. So, yup. Hell yeah, Phoenix. The song that brings back all that memories and stuff.

7. Get 'Em High — Kanye West (ft. Talib Kweli and Common)
Uhhhh whaaaat? Yeah, I know, this seems weird, but I just love this song. It's the only rap song on my top ten by the way, making it, I guess, my favorite rap of all time. Yeah, this is tough to defend.

Well let's start with the beat. Totally underwhelming. So willingly repetitive. The song tells you pretty much up front that it's not about production or "strings for the dramatic" or whatever, but just that you're going to hear some effing rap. Kanye, Talib and Common proceed to rip that simplistic beat apart for just under five minutes. They don't really have much to say. Kanye says "I'm the shit," then he says "this girl wants me," then Talib says "Kanye, I'll help you get that bitch, and I'm trying to smoke," then Common says "other rappers suck." And that's the whole song. But the vocal rhythms cover just about every single thing you could look to get out of the beat, which I just counted, covers four notes. That's the extent of the melody.

The chorus is catchy, and somehow gets dropped at all the right times to add another element of awesomeness. Also these are three of the rappers I respect the most, and they do the summit justice by all  slicing and dicing and dissecting and shredding the beat with awesome flow unlike any other song I've heard. Yeah.

6. New Born — Muse
I had a phase my sophomore and junior years where Muse, was like, the only band that mattered. Those were very high anxiety times, mostly because I was listening to pretty much just Muse. I loved their sound. I loved their intensity. I loved how loud they were for having just three members. I liked that they were super nerdy. I liked that they put on probably the best show ever in the world.

This song starts with some kinda haunting piano, then adds in some bass and alto piano (is that a thing? it's higher, on the note scale thing) to add to the distress, then Matt Bellamy comes on to tell us the situation. The song goes along with this groove for about a minute, before stopping.

Then it's picked up by just the ruggedest guitar riff in all the land. I can tell those notes, when put together, have an awesome beard. And then the drums come in, ruthlessly loud, perfectly syncing with the melody and providing copious crashing cymbals, and the song gains its legs. Then a swift chording guitar part comes up, accompanied by a driving bass riff that adds to the sense of urgency of the song. Anyway, yeah. A song happens. The intensity is not to be fucked with, and this song has one of the awesome climaxes of all time. On my deathbed, play this song, and I will have the temporary ability to beat up at least a fourth grader.

5. Casimir Pulaski Day — Sufjan Stevens
As different as this song is from the Muse song I just ranted about, it is equally different from the other Sufjan song I posted at No. 10. Whenever I need to mellow outt, or if I'm really super depressed, this song will put me at peace in five and a half minutes. Lyrically, it's one of the better-constructed songs I've ever heard, painting a series of scenes documenting a relationship that no longer exists because the other party in said relationship is now dead.

When some bullshit happens to good people, it puts me in a crappy mood. I wonder why things happen. I wonder why it couldn't have happened to some shmuck I didn't know. I thank God that I've never had a close friend or immediate family member die. I've never had serious obstacles in my life I needed miraculous assistance to help overcome. I've had it, relatively, easy. So earlier in the year when I was just in a moody mood where it seemed like everything was just the other shoe waiting to drop and eventually all the shoes I knew would be on the floor and nothing would be left to care about, I listened to this song a ton. It really paints a sad, sad picture, then picks you up off the floor by offering a perfect-fitting melody that just reminds you of everything you have. Somehow. It blows my mind, really.

But my favorite part about the song is the ending. After this uplifting and emotionally packed part in the song the song lands on one note and sticks there for a while. For a long while actually, then you realize that what you're listening to at the end of this song about death sounds an awful lot like a flatline. And just when you become really sad, Sufjan drops this heavenly chord that just lets you know that dying isn't the end, and that shit's gonna get better. Tell me I'm reading way too damn much into the song, but you can't take away the satisfaction I get from listening to it.

4. Keep Yourself Warm — Frightened Rabbit
An organ plays four notes in succession. The song begins, a guitar chimes in, still mostly rhythmic in construction, then a fucking bagpipe drops on top of the instrumental. Oh wait, excuse me, that's just Scott Hutchinson's incredibly Scottish voice. It's hard to discern at first what exactly the song is about, then he sings "No you won't find love in a, won't find love in a hole/ It takes more than fucking someone to keep yourself warm." You're initial thought is that this would be funny, but the band totally pulls it off. And the whole song comes off beautifully.

At the start of this song, Hutchinson sounds pathetic. He sounds like he's trying to talk himself off a ledge as he's trying to talk a girl into the bedroom. Then as the song builds and builds, so does Hutchinson's self-respect. It seems like by the end of the song he is content with himself, to a degree, whereas before it seemed like he wanted to fucking bottom out.  I think this song plays out perfectly, and in a city filled with sorostitute hunting frat guys, it feels good to know that it "takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep yourself warm."

I'm not a huge fan of Frightened Rabbit (for example, the lead singer who I referred to by name three times, I had to look up his name), but this was the first song of theirs that I heard and it immediately grabbed my attention in the best of the ways. Yay Scottish people.

3. Wake Up — Arcade Fire
At first, I was like, "hey, I kinda like this song." Then I listened to it a bunch more, and at some point it just hit me how epic it was. Yeah, it's about "the kids" and "growing up" (seemingly all Arcade Fire ever wants to damn talk about), but hey, that was a huge deal in my life for a while. Also, one of the iconic songs of the summer of 2010, despite being like, six years old. This song needs little explanation, as it is obviously really fricking great. I love every second. The rock-ass guitar, combined with the sentimentality of the violins, and the simplistic atmospheric sound to it. It seems grand, and oh yeah, I saw this live in the front row at Lollapalooza. I liked that very much, if you've forgotten.

The ending is awesome, also. Dance parties are the best.

2. When the Levee Breaks — Led Zeppelin
This song is a raid. The drums immediately kick the door down. The harmonica and guitar come in, killing everyone in the room. Then Robert Plant's voice (did NOT have to look that one up) carves LZ's into everyone's foreheads to let whoever finds 'em know who did it.

The song was originally a blues piece by Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie (just a guitarist, she was a female blues guitarist in the 1920s; pretty cool, eh?) recorded in 1929. Led Zeppelin gave the song a badass makeover and recorded it in 1970.

I was one of those kids, you know the ones. In middle school I discovered classic rock and was set in my ways for years. Led Zeppelin was my favorite band, and I still don't have a reason to knock them from atop that list. Every song they made kicked someone's ass, and they had four musical legends at the helm of each of their instruments. My favorite song of all time used to be Stairway to Heaven, but then I realized how much goddamn sense that song failed to make, and this song was actually one I really got into around the beginning of eighth grade. You know, August? 2005? Hurricane Katrina. I thought they were prophetic gods.

( — This fuck won't let me post his vid. Chunt.)

Obviously not, but the song still kicks ass and is the only one to which I can lay down a seven-minute freestyle rap and feel totally badass whenever I want. It's a damn great one.  But it's not quite my favorite song of all time.


Monday, May 2, 2011

Nick - PK Barnjam!

With the semester coming to an end, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about many of the people whom I've met this year that have made it special for me. So brace yourself for an Overly Sentimental tag, and let's get down to business!

At the beginning of this school year, I didn't know what to expect from college. I was kind of scared and timid about the whole ordeal, and I would have rather just stayed at home. I went to classes and studied. I went to parties that I didn't like. I wrote about how I didn't like parties at least once. I never really had a social circle. But then everything changed when I started auditioning for improv.

The improv community here is so big, and so nice. When I saw how cool and friendly everybody was, I made it my goal to become one of them. One of the happiest moments of my life was getting the acceptance call from The Titanic Players.

And then, almost instantly, I had a really supportive group of friends. Most of the older Titanic members really took me, and all of us freshmen, under their wing. It made a big difference for me just knowing older people who could answer any freshmen questions I had.

Most importantly, my Titanic team is made up of 8 of the nicest and coolest people I've ever met. So allow me to briefly introduce, for those of you who haven't seen us, team PK Barnjam!

Paul: Energetic and clever, Paul comes up with some of our most hilarious ideas.
Kate: Totally versatile, and Kate has the funniest reactions of anyone ever.

Bill: Loud! Level-headed! Bill is good at starting new scenes.
Amy: Our most veteran member, Amy is master of strong relationships.
Robel: Animated! Robel is awesome with voices and interesting characters.
Nick: Hey, that's me!
Julie: Super easy to work with. Julie is very in tune with her scene partner.
Anna: Anna does what the piece requires her to do, and she's good at it.
Marnie: Our late-game secret weapon, Marnie makes things fresh when they get stale.

So let me take a moment here to thank everybody on PK BJ for sticking with me all year. They've made this semester a blast for me.

Thanks, guys.

This year has also been the last year of improvising with team Kaboot, Titanic's most senior (and most mindblowing) team. They've done such a great job of being mentors and role models for us, and they've consistently showed us time and time again what a truly awe-inspiring performance looks like. I hope I can reach that level one day.

So thanks, Kaboot.

Finally, tonight is my last performance of the year with De Bono. I made it onto De Bono at the beginning of second semester, and they've taught me a ton about improv, music, and sometimes fashion. It's my secret fantasy to one day play music as well as Robby while dressed as nicely as Gaschler.

So one last thank you for De Bono.

There's not much else I can say: these guys made this year great for me. So I look forward to improvising with you next semester, PK Barnjam.


Racing for the Stares

--by Robert Langellier

Jimmy Hibsch took this photo, I think
As you may or may not have electricity, Osama bin Laden is officially dead to America.

Let the comedy begin.

If you're not approximately college-aged, with a sense of humor, and good at social media, you're probably hidden from my News Feed. My friends consist mostly of cynical journalism majors who are too smart for their own good, as well as otherwise smartass teenagers. This tragic lack of diversity makes for a pretty homogeneous output of Facebook statuses when anything monumental happens, like the death of a major political figure.

Now, the news sweep that takes place over social media is astonishing and respectable to witness. Within minutes of the news hitting campus, Facebook and Twitter exploded with Osama-related status updates and gifs of Obama kicking doors down. That's really cool. That's definitely one of the prime benefits to social media: the spreading of news. Earlier this year, for example, there was a false rumor of a shooter on Missouri's campus. Had there actually been one, the wildfire of urgent text messages and Tweets very well may have saved more than a few lives. Posting news on the public forum is extremely important in creating a rapidly reacting community.

But that's not what happens when there isn't a shooter on campus. When Osama bin Laden dies, or when anything else happens that doesn't directly affect its users, Facebook becomes a race for Likes and lols. After I heard of his death, I pulled up Facebook, clicked on Most Recent, and watched some really funny jokes steadily get less funny.
  • More like Osama bin dead... right guys
  • Watching Now: How to Secure a 2nd Term in 10 Minutes. Starring: Barack Obama
  • excited to play "god bless the usa" 10x more than i already do this week
  • Did someone die?
  • OMG Michael Jackson is dead! 
  • Obama's speech about Bin Laden will interrupt the end of Celebrity Apprentice. Question the President's word and he will go out and fucking kill Osama Bin Laden just to ruin your stupid show. Obama - 1, Trump - 0 
  • "somehow he finally died."
    "What do you mean? He's an old man with diabetes living in a cave in the desert. The odds are kind of stacked."
    I hate being in the journalism school when world events occur.
  • 10 years at playing hide and go seek? That must be a record.
  • ROYAL WEDDING!!!!!!! <3   
These are not offensive statuses to me because they're insensitive. Most of them are hilarious, actually, on their own. My roommate Dylan got like 40 Likes for that Donald Trump one. They're offensive to me because they're literally all I saw for about 30 straight updates. 

Nobody seemed to take Osama's death seriously, at least not on Facebook and Twitter. It appears that his death had more comedic impact upon my generation than anything else. Constant social media, I think, has made passing chuckles and mouse clicks the ultimate validation of wit, and wit the ultimate validation of intellect. Political and realistic (non)implications of Osama's death aside, it's kind of sad to see someone's death immediately turned into a lolling competition.