Let’s get to it. The reason I used “modern” and “classic” in the title is because I’m gonna talk about something that happened to me that is fairly modern and it deals with classic shit. About two or three days ago I was facebook chatting with my good friend Griffin Ludwig. He goes to Colorado College in Colorado Springs climbing mountains and doing hippy shit. Anyway, he tells
me he’s made a friend that reminds him exactly of me. I am offended. There is only one Brian McMahon. This is bullshit. I ask him. “Griff, how is this dude like me?” He says “He gets obsessed with random things very easily.” After a two hour bitch fit I eventually accepted my greatest fault.
Obsession. A problem I have had since I crawled out of the womb. It’s a curse. It’s a lifestyle. Anyone that knows me can tell you at least one thing I am obsessed with. Why? Because when I am around someone I won’t shut up about what I am currently obsessed with. Currently I am obsessed with Chocolate Milk and Zelda: The Ocarina of Time (Side note: Talking about Zelda usually doesn’t work out well with the ladies). Sometimes an obsession can last as little as a couple days to a couple weeks. But there are some cases of an obsession that have lasted years. That have lasted a lifetime. Let me show you those obsessions in a “kind of” chronological order.
Why am I obsessed with dinosaurs. Probably because they’re the shit that’s why. Let me take you back to when it started. Brian, three years old, hanging out just doing three year old things. Slanging coke making deals. Mom comes home with a movie called The Land Before Time. We have a sleepover/movie night in my brother’s room. Next thing I know. I have dinosaur wallpaper, bed sheets, dinosaur baby rocker and other dinosaur shit. I tell/scare potential friends that my name is Little Foot, I'm a long neck and I'm on a journey to the Great Valley. And if you didn't want join and be Petrie, Spike, or Cera you can fuck off. Literally. I knew I was a dinosaur and that’s all that mattered. Back then, friends were overrated.
Robert knows whatsup! Out of all of my brothers and a sister I can honestly Duke is hands down my favorite. Times a hundred. Duke showed up randomly in my life one day hen I came home from a friends house in the 3rd grade. Since then we’ve been best friends. Remember the beginning scene from where the wild things are when Max chases his dog around with a fork? Yeah, that dog hasn’t seen shit. Has your dog jumped off a two story building in an intense game of fetch? No? Thought so. Duke has been to half the little league baseball games at Rotary Park and excremented in the infield whenever he wants. Have you ever excremented (not a real word) in the infield in the middle of a little league game? That's what I thought. What a badass. I can go on and on why he’s the coolest, most badass dude in the world but by the time I’d be done 2012 would have already happened. By a million years.
Freshman and Sophomore year there were no video games I cared about more that Zelda. I guess you can say I have a little final fantasy team squad myself. But it’s with Zelda. When Twilight Princess came out for the Wii my friends Max and Connor and I stayed in Max’s dark basement for an entire week until we beat it. Twice. We would name our main character (who is usually Link) BCM. Brian Connor Max. Or Brian Christopher McMahon. Coincidence? No. Fate. As for Nick Dietrich, he came to school one day dressed as Link. I’ve had a secret obsession with him since and I ‘m pretty sure he’s aware of this. Pretty
4. Flight of the Conchords
Need I say more? Flight of the Conchords is a show about New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. The band is made up of two musicians, Bret and Jemaine. If I were to be one character from this show I’d be Dave because he’s badass. But I’m not Dave. I’m Mel. Mel is the character who follows the Conchords every where they go, has fan t-shirts, and creepy pictures of the band in her house. Yeahhh so I’m pretty much Mel. Sometimes when my hair is really long and I have grown beard people compare me to Bret. That is the ultimate compliment. Thank you sept-trillion times to all you guys who have told me this. I met a dude at colege who looks exactly like Jemaine and he SAYS ITS A CURSE! What a piece of shit. To sum up my love for the conchords watch this (start at 5:00) . . .I was there. They're the nicest dudes!
5. Lord of the FUCKING Rings
Damn straight. Heres just of list I’ve come up with in result of my obsession.
A. I’ve watched all the movies multiple times and read the book series twice. It’s not Harry Potter, the books take a bunch of your time to read.
B. Junior year 4th hour theology. Bridget McDonald and I exchanged soundtrack CD’s and would talk about a different character each day. Her fav was Aragorn mine was Sam. Ya bridget! That’s an obsession.
C. I’m saving the extended edition DVD’s for later in my life so when I finally watch them it will be like going to opening night all over again.
D. I cry every time I watch this scene
E. My password to pretty much every internet account I’ve had is a LOTR reference.
F. I have a poster of the second movie next to my bed. The second is my favorite btw
G. Every password I've ever had for an internet account is an LOTR reference
Z. I gave my 1994 geo prism (gizm) to the Katalinich family in exchange for the actual ring. I know it’s fake. Settle down. The real one was destroyed long ago. Let me fantasize.
To finish this off I’ll give you a list of a variety of different things I’ve had obsessions with throughout my life (excluding Music (that’s in a whole ‘notha league)) : Simply Apple, Starfox, Whitsox, Hit Girl, burning shit (when I was little), climbing shit (now), It’s always sunny, Fable games, Hit Girl, snow, Harry Potter, enya, Hit Girl (Future Wife), (500) days of summer and The Lion King. And more stuff I can’t think of.
By the way, this post is definitely going to negatively affect my image!!! SWEETNESS!!
- brian mcmahon