This has become somewhat of a running joke amongst my friends and I, but it's completely true. Earlier tonight I was riding my bike to steak n shake from Centennial Park when my left pedal just up and fell off my bike. Minutes later I discovered that a couple buttons on my cell phone were acting weird, and in my recent efforts to fix the small problem I seem to have completely stopped my phone from working.
Everything I touch breaks.
I'm trying to pinpoint exactly what it is about me that makes this true. Is it my fault? In the case of my bike, no. It's an old bike, and I've treated it fairly well. I have a trusty repairman in Mada's dad, and I've taken it in for touch ups recently. I feel like it's about time for the bike to start falling apart. It's about 30 years old. The cell phone? Yes. Yes that was my fault. I avoided the obvious pitfalls earlier in the day, by putting it in a safe place WHILE going down the slip and slide at Centennial Park. It was not harmed during my stay at Centennial Park, but why did it seem okay to me to put it back in my pocket almost immediately afterwards? To be fair, my pants seemed really dry and I'm extremely surprised by how much damage my phone suffered from just sitting in my pocket, but still. I should've seen this coming. And then I made things worse by trying to fix it. Shit. Damnit. Sorry Dad.
So if you look at the score tonight, it's 1 - 1. But let me try to list the things I've destroyed/slash have inexplicably just been destroyed while I just happened to be there
My Car (the ladykiller) - Blameless. Not my fault not my fault not my fault. It blew up, we don't know why, let's all accept I had nothing to do with that.
My last iPod - Seeeee, I feel like this one isn't REALLY my fault, but I'm going to put it as a point for me destroying it. I was quickly moving from place to place with it in my pocket, and then next thing I know I have a broken LCD screen. I wish I could split these points 50 50 but I'm just going to say that was my fault.
Bridget McDonald's basement door - Boys will be boys. My fault.
Nick Dietrich's iPod home - I'm going to go out on a limb here and say not my fault. Every single time I touched it it would shock me, and I tried to reason with it, but eventually I touched it, it shocked me, and then wouldn't turn on. This is debatable. But my votes for totally not my bad.
Mada Larson's heart - Not my fault. Sorry baby, but when you play love games, someone's gonna end up hurtin.
Springfield High School's ceiling - $716.52 worth of my fault.
Andrew Harless' foot - I ran over that once with my car, yeah. My fault. SPEAKING OF ANDREW HARLESS
The glass case infront of the auditorium at SHS - NOT MY FAULT. I threw a tennis ball, Harless ran for and hit the case. NOT MY FAULT.
Thousands of records - Loud and proud.
I'm forgetting things. If anyone would like to inform me of other things I have missed, go for it. After a while it all just blends into one.
What hurts here is that I feel like I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I put thought into things, but shit still happens. I've broken other people's stuff, and as mad or annoyed as they must be, I'm just as frustrated. I feel like no one trusts me with any nice things. I can have nice things. Give me nice things. Give me the nicest of the nice. Give me a chance.
What I've decided to do is have a kid and then raise him and see how that goes.