I bet I can churn out one more EATIT post... ABOUT BASKETBALL.

Tonight is a great night. Yesterday was opening night in the NBA, featuring a double-header that saw the Miami Heat lose their opening game and the Lakers winning on a last-second shot that was not-to-be for the Houston Rockets.

Now the rest of the league gets to join in the fun. In honor of the beginning of the NBA season, I have decided to present to you the starting lineup (and reserves) for the Easily Amused Teen Improv Troupe (August 2010 edition).

The fact is, Improv is a team sport. That's why we practice improv. To get good comedic chemistry. There is a reason for it. It's like a basketball team. You can score a joke, assist on a joke, or rebound a missed joke. You see? We aren't so different, you and I. (Said the basketball to the improv comedy.)

The fact is, I miss our Improv Troupe. It was a great excuse to be around ten really funny people for two hours a week. But I'm not gonna write a whole post about it. Okay, well I am, it's just got a little hint of creativity to it.

Without further ado:

STARTING POINT GUARD: Conor O'Brien

(idiots guide to position: main ballhandler. doesn't score as much as he finds the open man to score. runs the offense.)

Obviously. I had to put him at point guard for a multitude of reasons. First off, that's the position of the only basketball player Conor knows. Secondly, he runs the show. He orchestrates everything and provides guidance to our team of dominant players. He can score a joke or two when needed, but mainly he's great at giving the rest of us easy bits of hilarity to feed off of. Without him we'd be a bunch of hilarious people with nothing to talk about. He was no slouch, and one of the best at what he did. Great defender, as in, scenes will never go to shit as long as he's in them. He will pull something relevant out of his ass and more than likely you will laugh at it. He gets all the glory, because he's Conor O'Brien. Everybody loves him. Except maybe Roy Schribner.

Backup Point Guard: Ben Shane

A little more unique style. He wears thongs. Awesome. He has some inherent leadership qualities about him that make you think that what he's saying isn't utter BS, though it more than likely is. Overall, he's a good defender. At the very least he will have a coherent conversation and save the scene from those scary awkward silences that are the death of anything that's supposed to be funny. Russel Westbrook. He's starting for the troupe this year (or as I like to call them, the JV squad), and despite the last joke I just made, I feel like they're in good hands.

STARTING SHOOTING GUARD: Robert Langellier

(idiots guide to the position: scores. gets open, gets the ball, knocks down the shot.)

He's really funny. Give him an open look and he'll knock it down. If there's an opportunity for a joke he usually nails it. A comedic Ray Allen. He has literally gotten jokes that I didn't even intend to make. His level of comic thinking is realllly high. He doesn't have sincere thoughts. Sorry Hannah, he's dating you because it's funny. He can't exactly work all the pieces the way Conor can, but the kid has jokes. Through and through.

Backup Point Guard: Eliot Sill

Me. I'm funny. I give Robert the nod because I don't like to come off as a douche. But I feel like I can hold my own. I understand comedy. I try to make jokes too. Try to. You be the judge.

Actually fuck that I know I'm funny.

STARTING SMALL FORWARD: Tynan Shevlin

(idiots guide to the position: varies. can be utility guy. can be a big guy, or a shooter, defensive specialists or superstars. like lebron.)

Funniest person I know. He is probably the best improv-er I know also. He can make one-line jokes, create funny concept-jokes that everyone can feed off of, and if need be, he can run a scene. Versatile and I've never seen him do a scene I didn't laugh at. He's a superstar. Our very own LeBron James.

Backup Small Forward: Nick Dietrich

The ULTIMATE glue guy. He can do anything as well, although he doesn't get the fanfare of guys like Conor O'Brien and Tynan, but the quality of our shows would dip severely without him. He has impenetrable defense (scenes don't go down the drain if he's involved). He probably can't run the show with his own jokes as well as guys like Conor and Ben, but he is a compliment to anyone. Also he dominated practices. Dominated them. (Doctor, Oil Spill, "I didn't trust her") Can't say enough about Nick Dietrich. That's why he's a Titanic Player. And I reminisce about the improv troupe I used to be in. Nick Dietrich is a Bruce Bowen. Nick, you're Bruce Bowen.

Alternate Backup: Andrew Rogers

He's better than third-string, but we just have too many studs at his position. He's taking on a similar role in the offense and defense that Nick had. He shows a lot of similar qualities. He's really funny but doesn't get the credit that other showstopping performers might get.

STARTING POWER FORWARD: Kevin Tkach

(idiots guide to the position: these are the 6'10" guys who take the ball and dunk it really hard on everyone's head.)

Kevin Tkach? You mean KEVIN GARNETT? KT is reallllly funny. Absolute hilarity. Impossible to go wrong with him. Well I suppose you could, but it's hard. He can't come up with ideas and dish them out. He isn't Conor O'Brien. But if you get him something to work with. I mean ANYTHING. He will hammer it down and you will fall over laughing. And if you take a shot (at a joke) and miss it, Kevin will be there to pick up the rebound and make it funny. He's hilarious. Through and through. Enough said.

Backup Power Forward: Connor Lohse

Shout out to The Basement. And the guy who runs it. He's funny. Like Kevin Tkach, only a little less loud. Like JJ Hickson, he's an all-star waiting to happen.

STARTING CENTER: Mada Larson

(idiots guide to the position: defensive stalwarts, offensive beasts. a little slow because they're so big, but inavaluble nonetheless.)

Centers are big, right? What else is big? Elephants. Well Mada is an elephant. IN THE ROOM. Because she is a girl. Unlike everyone else so far. Also she has to be the CENTER of attention because all hell breaks loose if the girl gets tired. As for actually complimenting her, chemistry between the point guard and center is of the utmost importance, and Mada and Conor are on another plain of thinking. It's amazing to watch. Alley-oops upon Alley-oops. It's awesome. To watch. Better to understand. But you guys like it nonetheless. She might as well be Joakim Noah.

Backup Center: Evan Kararo

He's tall. (How cruel would it be to end this paragraph here?) But also he is the closest thing we have to Mada, looks-wise. Sometimes I can't tell them apart. Also he has a tendency to be the best at executing certain roles. Evan can take on characters and do them better than everyone else. Overall, when he shows up, he's funny as hell.

Alternate Backup: Hannah Kolkmeier

Mada's gone. Who's a girl? Looooooooovee youuuuuuuuu

Inactives:

Sean Freeman- I just didn't see him enough to fully assess his humor. SHOW UP TO IMPROV PRACTICE MORE. I love you nonetheless.

Adam Barber- Too young to judge. But he has a lot of upside. A freshman who has a good concept of what it takes to be a Robert or me.

Catherine Reid- Don't have an excuse not to write her a thing but if she wants to gripe about it I'll buy her next Steak N' Shake. Also show up to practice more.

So I think, as a post, I missed every audience I may have possibly had. If you aren't in improv, you don't care, and if you are in improv you probably don't care about sports. Certainly not basketball. But I love improv. And I love basketball. So this was fun to do. Plus it's fun to analogize improv to basketball. It's doable. I know the improv part of this is so far off topic, improv was over three months ago. I know. But basketball is ON. And I found something neat to relate it to. See ya next week.

--Eliot Sill