If You Enjoy Sex, You'll Enjoy This Blog

Sadly I'm not here to write about sex. I'm here to rant about insignificant things you probably won't care to read about, or even skim. Now that's fucking cold. Because everything written deserves at least a skim. Hell, I skimmed through every book high school put in front of me. Some were good, so I actually read those, but others, well, they just weren't (I'm talking to you Jane Eyre). I mean, COME ON Charlotte Bronte. A 400-something page novel about a damn nanny? And a boring one at that? I hope hell is treating you nicely for the torture you've provided us students of the modern day world. Bitch. And Nathaniel Hawthorne... What the fuck was The Scarlet Letter? Hm? HM? I mean, I love old literature, but you described everything in SO much damn depth. Like, down to the molecule. And you know what, Mr. Hawthorne? No one fucking cares, just tell the story and move on. It's like, if I wrote a story and described a snowflake, a little piece of snow, but spent 6 paragraphs on it, describing the shape and color and consistency and its aerodynamic properties. Don't even lie to me, you would be BORED TO DEATH. I think he made that to be a test; some will-power kind of shit. The stuff no one passes because we all are to sane to drive ourselves insane.

On the other hand, there were the books worth reading. And I mean, really fucking worth it. Example one: Fahrenheit 451. That was a spectacular novel. Short, to the point, with a great story. Or Brave New World, which was astounding. Very imaginative and futuristic. A great piece of literature. Then of course, who could forget The Great Gatsby, a true, genuine love story depicting the greatest period of American living there ever was: the 1920's.

Sadly though, we were always stuck with the shitty ones too, and I did leave out some of the greats, but we all remember them. Now, while you skim this, or read it, or ignore it in general, I'm going to go do something more important than type. Like, donate to charity, or kill someone on the FBI's top 10 list. Hell, maybe I'll start a religion. I hear sex is fun, maybe I'll go buy some of that. And meth. So, until next week, this has been Doctor Strange; signing off.

-CORYROBINSON