Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fuck next week. I'm doing this now.

So, if you found my post (which strangely was published in the timeline like a week ago), you read it and noticed my promise to write about sports next week. Well, now read the title of this post.

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Okay. So today is a grand day in sports. Across the world. Usually a good day in sports will consist of something like a no-hitter coupled with a double overtime football/basketball game with a "Play of the Year" candidate in either the NBA MLB or NFL. Well today nations across the globe marveled at the gift given to them by the sweet organized practice of competition. Also it's not even 4 pm as of yet. What will tonight's events bring?

Likely nothing exciting, but there's a possibility. The thing is, I inexplicably woke up at 10:40 this morning. I passed out last night at like 3 or 4 am. Today's my day off. I should have slept until like 3 pm. But I woke up. The only explanation I can think of is that my sports sonar was going bonkers. I walk downstairs to check the soccer game I was undoubtedly missing, to see if it was over. I come down in the 86th minute. Yeah, 86th, so I missed ALL the bullshit. And I gave a leaping hurrah when we scored the clinching goal in extra time. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm rooting for the U.S. soccer team. And after the World Cup's over, I will go back to having no respect for soccer. And four years later, I'll find this feeling again. It's a shame soccer isn't more exciting. I want to love it, but it's just hard to love a sport that you can watch for 90 minutes without anyone scoring.

Anyway, why this is cool: America will never like soccer. It's like an illegitimate brother sport to football. However, Saturday at 1 pm, America will plant its collective ass in its collective lazy boy and watch its lovable team of underachievers attempt to conquer the odds and start an unlikely run at an unappreciated World Cup title. We would wave that cup in the air and act like it meant the world to us. But we wouldn't appreciate it like Ghana would. It's little more to our country than a national title is to a college basketball fan.

Something you need to understand if you don't already: the world doesn't care whether the Saints or the Colts win the Super Bowl. EVERY SPORTS FAN ATTACHED TO THIS PLANET is vying for a World Cup title. Even denizens of nations that aren't in it have teams they root for. So the fact that our country is one of the sixteen remaining teams in the tournament is something we are obligated to care about.

And the sad thing is, lots of us do view it as an obligation to some degree. We just don't get it. What makes soccer good? Beats me.

The fact that the whole world competes and everybody is competitive, it's beautiful really. Watching the World Cup is real proof that all people are created equal, but different. We have different styles and methods to the game, but the scoreboard ties it all together. We have different ways to achieve the same goals. Goals. Get it? Good. But that's why the World Cup is cooler than the NBA playoffs. I could dig a whole through the world, come out the other side, and talk about the World Cup. You can't say that about a lot of things.

Meanwhile, and this definitely deserves a mention, tennis rearing its head of relevance again. Rarely do I care about tennis. But dude, the longest match ever is going on right now. In the fifth SET of a tennis MATCH, the final GAME must be decided by two points. (Classic win-by-two rule, right?) In a classic "this COULD happen but shit, what are the odds that it ever will?" scenario, the tiebreak is currently deadlocked at FIFTY FUCKING NINE. 59-59. That means no one ever got a two GAME lead. That's immaculate. They have played for 10 hours. And you can bet your ass this isn't even CLOSE to the final round. Whoever wins this has to saddle up and take on someone better the next day. Sucks for them. Wimbledon tennis tournament is also an international event. Today is all about the world and sports being happy together forever. And in this lull in American sports that is the in-between period where there's no basketball and no football, I really appreciate a day like today.

And the good news about the World Cup: it gets better and it's going on until JULY 11. SWEET. The good news about Wimbledon: the match between Mahut and Isner may or may not be over before then. We never know. And that's one of the many beauties of sports.

Sports!

--Eliot Sill

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